For those of you in it for the long haul.. prepare for a rather long, somewhat scattered post. It's almost midnight and I've been partially writing this in my head for a few hours... Which is about when I realize my blogging may have reached a weird, somewhat unhealthy state - when I started blogging in my head during a situation about which I wished to blog. It's almost sad, but I'm ok with it, because I find this activity rather cathartic. Anyways - I'm going to stop blogging about blogging and actually blog about the situation about which I wish to blog. I need to stop saying blog...
Today I saw something both beautiful and rare. It was cold and it was raining and in most situations I would have simply rushed to and from my vehicle as quickly as possible but I just couldn't. At first I thought it was just a rainbow (just.. like it's ordinary...ha). Then I realized, hey... that's a full rainbow. I stopped and looked even closer to see that it was even more spectacular than that, a double rainbow.
So I took a "Minute Vacation" as Chuck suggested in Sunday School today. Despite the wind and the rain(come to think of it, because of the rain) I marveled at the different colors and the completeness of it. It was like God had put it up there just for me to stop and remember that He really is that awesome and he really can do incredible things so... just stop. Stop worrying. Stop searching for something to do. Stop fighting it and just 'be still and know that I am God'.
Upon further reflection about what a rainbow means I realized it wasn't just for me, but it was a reminder for the Lord (I say that like He forgets things...). Check out Genesis 9 for more details, but the gist of it is that He set His bow in the sky as a reminder of the covenant between God and every creature on the earth that He will not destroy the earth with a flood again.
Every time I think about the story of Noah and the Flood I remember the flood that destroyed my family's home(the parsonage behind Reformed Heritage Pres. in Vestavia) in 1995 when Opal came through. I was only five so the details aren't really in my memory but I remember Mom had me take Lydia, and maybe Megan too, up the little hill to RHPC to wait for the adults as they rushed in and out of the house. I vaguely remember a sudden number of people rushing back and forth with baby books, pictures, home videos and all sorts of "important" things. I think I remember them saying the waters were up to the adults thighs... totally destroyed the place. Rebecca's baby book was lost.
Afterwards we stayed with Mee-Maw in her little two-bedroom apartment. 7 people. Ridiculous. I remember us scuffling about who got to sleep in the guest bedroom as opposed to the living room. There were a few storms and I really hated them. Mom kept telling us to get away from the glass door. I'm not sure how long we were there...
Later the Stovers who heard about our situation (through Awanas? Maybe the News? Idk..) offered us a house to live in for the next several years. That house will always be home to me. I swear it's the closest thing to the 23rd Psalm you'll find in Alabama. The lake, the pastures, the horses, the woods, the orchard... it was so beautiful. I loved playing on top of the no longer functional well in the front yard. There was a swing at one point... and honeysuckle, oh my goodness it was everywhere. Honeysuckle and wisteria that smelled like grape Blow Pops. For all I knew it was paradise. We lived in paradise for free. For free. For years.
We drove from Vandiver to Birmingham every Sunday (And quite a few Wednesdays) to Briarwood. Something like a 45 minute drive. Maybe it was an hour - it always seemed like forever, but I was little and I think time is slower in the car under the age of about 14. At some point Briarwood's Mercy Ministry got involved and they helped Mom with expenses that we had for school and such. I remember that the Mercy Ministry is the reason I'm still alive and educated every time we have communion and they take up the alms offering for it. We got a "Deacon Dude"(Scott Spell. I love that man and his sweet family.) who was Mom's go-to guy when we needed anything. Later on that ministry would help us get the mobile home we live in now and then put Mom through nursing school at Jeff State.
Every summer we went to Camp Briarwood, on scholarship (God Bless Scott Hannah). I remember first saying the prayer at Day Camp with my counselor (we called her Pocahontas, I don't know her real name). Later at Overnight Camp I found my second home at Camp Chandler in Wetumpka. I was taught such incredible lessons and I still remember being so excited to be in Bridgette's Huddle Group. I first started wanting to lead worship watching Ryan McCool & Brian T. Murphy(later Coach T{I think}) lead. My favorite is still "O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go". His sister Katie taught me how to have a strong heart in the midst of things that want to make us weak. Speaking of siblings, the Spears -- wow. I love Emily, and I'm so glad that she ended up discipling me later on when I was in high school.
That's where I met George Childs, who I am so glad to call a friend. I remember talking to him in the line for seconds on my very last day, my last year of camp. I looked up to him so much and I still consider it one of the greatest moments of my life when he said I was a special camper. I am convinced that had it not been for Camp Briarwood and the time and care those counselors took, I would absolutely be such a hopeless mess. Those were some of the roughest years of my life with all the crazy family things going on and I looked forward to that one week like it was the only breath of air I got all year long. (So thanks, guys. I don't think I'll ever really have the right words to tell you what a blessing you were to me. If you happen to see any of the other old counselors-- please pass that along. Especially to Katie - I couldn't find her on Facebook to tag her)
I won't go through everything about Chapel Choir, just now but I think you all know what a huge part of my life that has been. I was a total outcast. I had two friends in the whole world. I went into that Choir and instantly I was the little sister of about 50 incredible older kids. Not to mention Mr. C. Mr. Campbell is the closest thing to a father I've ever had and I can't thank him enough for all that he's taught me. I still can't believe how blessed I was to be able to serve as Co-President alongside Blake Harris. I know we were supposed to be the leaders but I really feel like the choir taught us much more than we ever thought about showing them. I feel so at home with that family, I don't know what I'll do when they finally get tired of me and I can't be a graduate assistant anymore.
In BYG I served with the praise team for a few years. Met my adopted little brother Gavin, who I love dearly. I had the opportunity to play with some of the most talented musicians I think I'll ever come in contact with. Even though more times than not it seemed like the students we were leading were rather disinterested , I could always count on that I was approaching the throne with my brothers and sisters in Christ that had true hearts for worship. Andy and Chad... you guys are great, thanks for leading us as we led together.
Now that I've moved up to the BCC, I've got this great new family and incredible community to be a part of. Charlton is an excellent teacher, leader, and encourager. The other members of the Servant Leadership Team - y'all never cease to amaze me in your love for the Lord and your passion for His will and His people. I love you guys so much and I’m so thankful for each of you.
Every time I see a rainbow I'm reminded not only that the Lord is true to His covenant, but that He will use situations that seem hopeless to bring the greatest hope into the hearts of His beloved.
Had that flood not destroyed that home, we never would have moved to Vandiver where I learned how to fully appreciate His creation and how blessed I was to have a roof over my head.
Had those waters not risen so high, I never would have come to Briarwood where I was ministered to by countless men and women of the faith and provided for time and time again.
Had my earthly father not been so absent in my life, I would not have the level of understanding that God is my Father that I do have and I would not have been able to minister to the girls who’s hearts were being broken in the same manner in the personal way that I did.
Had my family been rich and never needed for food, clothes or shelter, I would not have the great joy in knowing that my Heavenly Father is Jehovah Jireh - the Lord who Provides.
Had I not been an outcast and an outsider I would not understand and cherish the incredible value in true friends and my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Had I not had a broken spirit over, and over and over again from the time I was a child I would not know the extent of the healing that can abound in the arms of a Savior who relentlessly pursues His own.
Had I not lived this life that I have been living, with its ups and its downs, it’s trials and joys alike -- I would not be the young woman sitting here who knows, beyond any thought of shadow of any doubt, that the blessed hope she’s waiting for is coming.
Oh, how I do long for it…
