Flicker

I’ve always felt more awake at 2am than I should.

It always bothered me when the grownups said that nothing good ever happened after midnight. I happen after midnight.

But then morning comes and I want the chirping birds and the sunrise. I want the mid day adventure. I want the sunset and the easing into the night.

I want to burn the candle at both ends and in the middle so we can all wonder where the wax went… but my body is tired and my brain gets fuzzy so… I guess I’ll take the medicine that forces inquisitive, enthusiastic me into a daze.

Maybe I’ll write another song in my sleep. If it comes to me in a dream, does it even count though? I suppose there’s no one else who could claim it.

This blanket is weighted but it’s still not heavy enough. 

I need arms around me. My own private bedtime bodyguard, someone to stand at the door to my dreams and tell the monsters “not tonight”. Maybe tomorrow. 

_{I miss you when you aren’t holding me and I worry what that says about me but I still want you here.}