Saturday, June 20

Hugging the Toilet

My whole family's been sick with a stomach bug and I've been hugging the toilet for the past 24 hours or so. At first I was just annoyed and then I felt like I was dying. Somewhere between saltines and 7-up I asked God why He had to kick me while I was down. The answer came while watching the Chronicles of Narnia and being reminded of the sacrifice He made for me and how ungrateful I've been, how unbelieving and un trusting I've been.

One of these days I'm going to listen to the encouragement and advice I give to others. Would have thought that after years of those "hugging the toilet" moments I would've figured it out.

I'm desperately co-dependant. I can not provide for myself the things that I need. Thank God. And thank God that occaisionally I actually realize that. I do hope that maybe once I'll realize that before I bring myself to the point of tears and near hopelessness.

Along with that realization comes the memory of His provision. I can't change the past and how I react to it, I can only learn from it and trust that I don't have to know what's next. Trust that God keeps His promises.

Sometimes God uses situations to make us depend on Him more than oxygen. Sometimes He uses them to show others that He can turn a loss into a victory. Most of the time it's both.