Love Potion

Someday I would like at least one of these abilities: to sleep all the way through my version of "all night long" or at least to fall asleep much,much quicker. As it is, I wake and wake and wake through the night and after I soothe and soothe and soothe the babies, I lie there. I stare at the ceiling, I stare at the wall, I stare at the covers over my face, I stare at Joe. I must lie there and stare for hours every night.

Sometimes I wonder if I do more staring than sleeping.




In the same way I do more longing than loving you. I want to believe what you say. I want to trust, I want to love with this wild abandon. But I'm lying here staring and waiting for the longing to catch up to the living. The living with the loving and the loving with the trusting...

They make pills for sleep aid... why not for this?