Thursday, September 24

A Fish May Love A Bird

I have spent my whole life
beneath the water


I know the weight of it
The way it holds me
when I am too tired to swim
The way it moves around me
without ever asking
where I am going


Sometimes I break the surface just to breathe

But lately I have been staying there long enough
to feel the wind before I fall back down


It moves across my back
like it knows me


And I wonder
what it would be like 

to have wings


To let the wind decide
instead of the current

To rise
and not have to come back down


I watch the birds

drift in their synchronized shapes

Do they feel a current too


They don't seem to fight it


They just… are


And maybe that's what I want
not to be a bird
not really

but to know
what it feels like
to stop swimming
against something
and still be carried


There are places here
I know by heart

Deep places
Dark places
Places where the light
doesn't reach
but I know my way through


So why do I keep looking up


Why does the wind
feel like something
I have forgotten
when I have never had it


Maybe I only want to know
that I could make it in the sky

Maybe I have just tired of feeling like drowning is all around me


Would I develop a fear of falling



Maybe there is a difference
between changing your course
and wondering
what the other one feels like


I don't know


The tide is pulling

The wind is calling


And I am caught
somewhere between them


Trying to decide
if I am lost

or if I am exactly
where I meant to be

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