Thursday, November 20

Another X, Another Lesson Learned

I had a wonderful, wonderful day. I had a spectacular night. I drove home on clouds and was fully prepared to sleep on them.
That is until I signed on and saw another one of those wretched articles on my news feed. Only this time the little pink heart wasn't broken. Staring at it I thought how much more fitting it would be had the heart not looked so whole. Maybe if it was duct taped together or superglued in places, yes... that would be more realistic. Then I could compare it to my own bits of a shining glass heart pieced together like a puzzle.

For a moment, in the very deepest part of my heart, the place where the glue is still wet and sometimes has to pressed together to keep it from falling apart, I felt all that pain again. I felt the first little chip and the next and the next and the crash all in one fell swoop. And then it was over. It felt so strange not to have to hold it together anymore.

So I clicked the x and watched your heart fade and I knew it would be alright. I don't have to hold it together anymore because it just is all on it's own. I can stop clinging to what I used to wish for and open up that part of me to someone else. This time I'll be more careful.

Oscar Wilde said the heart was made to be broken. I think we're just a little too cavalier with that which was meant for caution.